When she was a baby or a toddler, chances are you had your daughter’s
sleep routine down to a science. The parenting books are chockablock
full of sleep guidance for new moms and dads—and since she was so
little and didn’t have the schedule of an older kid, sleep could be a
front-and-center priority without anything else getting in the way.
But now that she’s older, has homework, a full social calendar, and
possibly even a part-time job, sleep might be getting deprioritized to
the point that it’s hurting your girl. Did you know that kids between
six and 12 need between nine and 12 hours of sleep? And that high
school students need between eight and 10?
Did you also know that according to the U.S. Department of Health
and Human Services, high school girls get, on average, a full hour
less sleep than their male counterparts each weeknight? The
report didn't say why, but regardless of the reason, this is a big problem.
“Sleep is so important in terms of our emotional and physical
health—just as important as the nutritious food we eat and the
exercise we get,” says Girl Scouts developmental psychologist Dr.
Andrea Bastiani Archibald, “In fact, studies show that a lack of sleep
can contribute to increased risk of drug use, obesity, and feelings of
depression—all three of which have been indicated by the Girl Scout
Research Institute as growing problems of this generation of girls.”
So we should all be concerned that girls are getting short-changed
when it comes to sleep. If we want our girls to be happy and
successful—which of course we do—we have to help them in this
department. How can you do that, though? The first step is to
determine whether there’s a problem that needs fixing in the first place.
Look for These Signs of Sleep Deprivation
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Increased irritability
Although there are many reasons your girl might reasonably
feel angry, frustrated, or annoyed, it’s important to know that a
lack of sleep could definitely be a factor here. When young people
(or any of us for that matter) don’t get enough sleep, the
connections between the part of our brain that processes emotions
and the part of our brain that controls decision-making don’t
function properly, which can lead to people being generally cranky
and acting out.
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She’s always hungry
The hormones that control our hunger levels get thrown out of
whack when we haven’t rested properly. Specifically, a hormone
called grehlin, which tells our bodies we need to eat, is released
to the body in higher quantities, and the hormone that tells our
brains we’re satisfied is lowered. All of this can lead your
sleep-deprived daughter to snack her way through the day even if she
doesn’t really need the fuel.
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Her grades are slipping
Staying up all night (or even just very late) to study for a
test may do more harm than good because a lack of proper rest can
decrease her focus and possibly lead to her doing worse on the exam.
Here’s the thing: sleep affects many brain functions including
critical thinking, our ability to take in and remember new
information (learning in general!), and creativity. To do well in
school, she needs to have all those abilities functioning at their
best, so a lack of sleep is only going to lower her academic
performance. We can’t promise that getting more zzzs will lead to
college scholarships, but it certainly won’t hurt!
Help Her Get More Sleep
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Plan for and prioritize sleep
While some students and
parents are pushing for later school start times so that tweens and
teens— who naturally stay awake later into the night than younger
children and older adults—can get more rest, those early wake-ups
may be non-negotiable for some. Regardless of when she’s got to rise
and shine, do the math to figure out when your daughter would need
to be asleep in order to get the recommended amount of rest before
morning. Set her bedtime about half an hour before that (so she has
time to fall asleep!), then plan homework and other
activities around that time. Of course, an occasional late-night
Zoom call or special movie night might push her bedtime a bit later,
but make sure that’s only a once-in-a-while issue, not nightly or
even weekly. But more than that? Set your kids up to love sleep and
to see it as a good thing by emphasizing that it’s something that
you and other people they look up to (athletes and celebs tweet
plenty about needing more shut-eye!) crave. And resist the urge to
threaten early bedtime as a punishment for naughty behavior—that’s a
surefire way to poison their views on sleep.
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2. Banish phones from the bedroom
Her cell phone is
the enemy of sleep. Seriously! Not only does the type of light
emitted from her screen send “it’s time to be awake” signals to her
brain, making it harder for her to doze off, but the temptation to
keep up with group texts or social media past bedtime can be too
much to resist. And if she does manage to zonk out despite her phone
being nearby, the alerts of incoming messages, updates, and other
things can disrupt her and lower the quality of sleep she’s getting.
Of course she’ll argue that she uses her phone for an alarm clock
(too many of us are guilty of that!) but the solution to that one is
simple: get her an old-fashioned alarm clock!
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Curb the caffeine
When your girl is tired, chances
are, she reaches for a Starbucks or a soda to perk up. The problem
is that caffeine can stay in her (or any person’s!) system for many
hours. That means the caffeine your girl is drinking to ward off
afternoon sleepiness can actually lead to her having trouble falling
asleep that night…which leads to more sleep deprivation and
increased grogginess. It’s a vicious cycle! Based on studies,
scientists recommend stopping caffeine intake at least six hours
before bedtime. If she really needs a pick-me-up late in the
afternoon, have her try a protein-based snack like almonds, doing
some brisk exercise (even a mini-dance party to one of her favorite
songs could help!) or sipping on some lemon water. Dehydration can
be a cause of tiredness, too! And if it’s only a few hours to
bedtime, but she needs a study snack? String cheese or whole-wheat
toast are good bets, since they’ll give her a little boost but can
also help her sleep. Dairy and carbs won’t make her feel too awake
the way other choices might.
Of course, these tips could lead to happier and healthier lives for
all of us (sleep is good for everyone, obviously!)—but since the sleep
deficit is so pronounced among girls, it’s important to focus on your
daughter’s needs specifically. That said? It’ll be easier for her to
adopt healthy sleep habits if your whole family is following suit.
Leading by example in this case could have major benefits for
everyone. Here’s to sweet dreams and bright, fully-rested mornings!