Your Daughter's Body Image: How Does She See Herself?

By Janet Lombardi

How would your daughter rate her looks? Does she hate how she looks? Are there things she'd like to change? Is she in love with herself?

Body image is based on perception. And as girls head towards adolescence, their feelings about who they are naturally get cloaked in how they look. Between pencil-thin models on Project Runway, guilt-inducing diet ads, and extreme makeovers, it's no wonder girls often feel they can't measure up. Who could?

What You Can Do

As a parent, you can counter the high-pressure messages your daughter is faced with. Here are tips for promoting a positive perception of body:

• Set the example. Be upbeat in your comments about your own or someone else's body. A daughter is more likely to be accepting of her own body if her mother is accepting of hers.



• Address the issue. Acknowledge her dissatisfaction with her appearance. Rather than deny that anything is "wrong," respect her comments. Then help her accept that there may be things she dislikes. Talk about family pre-disposition to above average weight, for example. Or educate her about diversity of size.



• Make it about life, not a diet. Emphasize lifestyle over appearance. Encourage exercise for the joy of it. Teach your daughter to curb stress by playing a musical instrument or excelling at a sport. Stock the cabinet with nutritious snacks because that's how your whole family eats.



• Stress a well-rounded self. Explain that there is more to a person than how she looks. Soccer player Mia Hamm's legs are muscular because she needs them to get the job done. Intellectual abilities, athletic prowess, and a sense of humor are all characteristics that make her who she is.



• Celebrate the body. Encourage your daughter to appreciate what her body can do. Maybe she can run, dance, or do a cartwheel. Maybe she likes to fly a kite or ride a bike. Her body makes all these things possible.



• Know the facts. Be a source of accurate information. Let your daughter know, for instance, that it's normal to gain weight, especially around the hips, when she enters puberty. According to the 2000 Girl Scout Research Institute report Teens Before Their Time (2002), "Researchers learned that girls feel a real need for an environment that provides accurate and appropriate information concerning changes that are about to happen to them."

Above all, keep the lines of communication open and nurture your relationship with your daughter. Solid relationships with parents, Girl Scout volunteers, and other significant adults go a long way towards safeguarding a girl's compromised sense of self.