Help Her Handle Her Busy Schedule with Confidence
As the school year draws to a close, it can seem like every one of your child’s activities ramps up in a major way. Between dance recitals, sports try-outs, school formals, and finals, this can really be her time to shine—and your support will make her success that much sweeter.
Here’s how to get the most out of her big moments and how to know if she needs a bit of help.
Update Your Calendar
Sit down as a family and make sure you’ve got all important events on the calendar. Staying organized and knowing who has what when can help her stay calm and ensure she’s not caught off guard when a big event pops up.
Plan Ahead
Beyond things like arranging transportation to the out-of-town debate or scheduling a reminder to get tickets for her school play, you may want to put holds on your own calendar in the days leading up to big events. That can give you space to make an emergency morale-boosting ice cream run or provide time to help her master those flash cards for the big test.
Stick to Routines
Family routines provide structure, stability, and a sense of normalcy for kids—even as they become teens and tweens—so they’re super important in times when things get busy and the pressure might be a bit higher than usual. A slightly later bedtime one night to celebrate a big moment won’t hurt anything, but keeping her schedule on track as much as possible (and ensuring she’s getting enough sleep!) can keep stress levels in check and give everyone the energy to celebrate her victories when they happen.
Let Her Feel Her Feelings
While it might feel supportive to ask questions like, “Aren’t you excited about the big game?” or “You must be nervous about that test!,” be mindful to not assume how she’s feeling just because you might feel that way if you were in her shoes.
Instead, simply ask how she’s feeling. The open-ended question avoids putting ideas in her head about how she “should” be feeling. Plus, you might be surprised that your daughter is actually excited about an upcoming exam because it’s her chance to show how much she’s improved this year. Or perhaps instead of looking forward to a school dance as she usually does, she’s feeling nervous. Let her tell you!
Listen to Her Needs
In the case that she feels anxious or down about an upcoming event, resist the urge to brush it off or say she has nothing to worry about. Even if you think she really doesn’t have any logical reason to be stressed, her feelings are real and she needs your support.
Hear her out and ask how you can show up for her best, then make a plan together. She’s more likely to feel confident when you engage with her concerns than when you dismiss them. Letting her take the lead in preparing for these moments shows you believe in her and are there for her. She might feel like her schedule is out of control, so giving her some ownership over how to handle hard moments can help her stay calmer.
Keep Checking In
There’s a difference between having a lot going on (exciting!) and having way too much going on (stressful). She might think she can handle a week with activities every single evening, but when push comes to shove, that might not be the case—especially if it means she’s got no downtime between events. That’s why asking how she’s doing isn’t a one-and-done. If you can sense she’s struggling, talk with her about scaling back her schedule or postponing an event to a later date. Then teach her to be judicious about which responsibilities to follow-through on and which ones she can more easily let slide. For instance, she might be letting down the whole team if she skips the big softball game, but skipping her piano lesson one week isn’t going to be the end of the world. What’s bringing her joy versus what doesn’t feel fun anymore? These are important questions to think about.
Be Her Cheerleader
Knowing you are proud of her for doing her best, no matter the outcome, will give her more confidence and can take the pressure down a notch. If you know she’s giving a class presentation, think about making a special breakfast for her that morning or including a “You’ve got this!” note in her lunch. Couldn’t get the night off and have to work during her orchestra performance? Call her right beforehand to let her know you’re in her corner, and have another parent take video so you can have a viewing party at home later. These moments are a big deal in her world, and knowing they matter to you will mean the world to her.
